


Addiction

by NoizyKorat



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Anal Sex, Developing Relationship, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Drugged Sex, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Surprise Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 07:29:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6414538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoizyKorat/pseuds/NoizyKorat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The maniac killing machine of Schwarz has found himself another god. Through all the years forcibly put together, Farfarello has established a growing infatuation with Schuldig. Curiousity had turned into adorashion,  and his worship of this wonderous, stunning creature has landed him with another major obsession.<br/>If anyone knows the moody Telepath by heart, it'd be Farfarello - thus he's the first to notice how his soulmate slides deeper and deeper into his drug addiction.<br/>He watches him, closely, frozen in shock, how he's wasting away , sees him slipping through his fingers. But Farfarello isn't one to give up and let him die down more each day. He knows, he'll fight, so as desperation strikes, he let's himself be dragged along, to do the only thing he hopes will come through, beating the pain of regret....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Addiction

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Abhängigkeit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6430843) by [NoizyKorat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoizyKorat/pseuds/NoizyKorat)
  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Abhängigkeit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6430843) by [NoizyKorat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoizyKorat/pseuds/NoizyKorat)



> Again, I don't own any Schwarz, I don't own Weiß Kreuz. This is pure fiction with no intention to infringe, and no money gained.
> 
> Self-beta work, so please forgive me any mistakes. If you notice some, you're welcome to let me know, I love helpful comments.

Ever since I know you, you´ve been some kind of a hero to me.  
Undoubtedly you possess the kind of physics, so irritatingly attractive in their forbiddenly sinful beauty, that they won´t ever fail in stunning anyone coming along - even that Weiss ice-prince Abyssinian -. God himself just has to be envious of it, thus it must hurt him deeply and thoroughly to have you practically flinging it into mankind´s faces, freely giving yourself away to anyone, just like that, as if you weren´t even worth a single penny.  
Amusingly this behavior isn´t even the exact reason for all the people pushing you away, calling you a slut, trying desperately to hurt you as much as to make sure you won´t return eternally.  
Actually you provoke that kind of reaction, because even without you consciously noticing, your bafflingly brilliant mentality never ceases to shine through your every word and action, betraying the happy-go-lucky type of attitude you use to wear.  
Deep, deep inside their hearts you scare them shitless, as you take the best of their bodies and minds, revealing just how whole heartedly you make for a pure and honest sadist.  
Further, not even the fact that you´ve got a head as thick as a whole fucking rock won´t account for any serious negativity, as it provides you with a stealthy spine and a nearly unbreakable, unbelievably strong mind, that keeps you happily up and going, enduring situations with striking ease, that would crack up even Mr. Steal Mind Crawford.

After all my lifetime of searching, you´re the absolutely closest thing to the devil himself and in the flash, nearly driving me even further out of my mind then I already am, only thinking about all the things you could do, left handed and at ease, that would do real, excruciating damage to god.  
Sometimes I wanted to kill you, rip you apart with my bare hands, into tiny peaces for your sheer and outright ignorance of that fact, but you never understood me, even if I tried to tell you, did you?  
For you, I was only the crazy, blood lusting lunatic, hanging head down in some dark, isolated basement, not worth your time in listening, not even worth a single glance I so craved for.  
Exactly this was the problem, though. Being down there all this time, dulled down by medication, tied down by chains, the only thing I was still capable of was thinking, and since hurting god was my sole interest in life, conclusion comes easily that you were basically the only thing on my mind, as the perfect tool for my revenge.  
It might be unnatural, even shocking for a painless, loony killing machine like me to think and feel in such a way, but I´ve held this strangely twisted, obsessive kind of love for you ever since.

Up to recently, I even treasured those feelings deep inside my otherwise shallow heart, until now god had once again decided to test me, this time in the worst imaginable way.  
Right in front of my helpless, disbelieving eyes had, first your gaze, then your brain steadily grown hazy, as your physical followed your mental presence in slowly fading away, more and more each god damned day, leaving you a numb, lifeless doll to blindly follow any order given. Become even less then a shadow of yourself, you were all set on letting each and every thing down.  
Me, Schwarz, the plan, even your very own fate you so vigorously used to fight.  
This was something I´d never thought you capable of, but you painfully rubbed it into my scar-crossed face again and again, every Jesus-fucking day.  
Did you even have the very least clue, or did you spent even the very last thought on just what exactly you were doing to me, how deeply you were hurting me? Without any notice, you were heating up my infamously passionate wreath, slowly boiling me from the inside, easily putting any Eszett Master to shame in insane cruelty. Yet I could only stand aside in my foolish love, watching horrified, my heart bleeding at how you were up to your nose in mindless self destruction, powerless to do anything in fear to break you even further.

Just like the first night, as though caught within a ceaseless dejavu, I´d halt my steps, supposedly leading to my basement room, staring at you, sternly and quietly as you stand there, frozen in your attempt to pull off your green trademark coat, revealing your stained and tattered cloth.  
Taking in every detail with an icy expression in my eye, I´d keep my face as motionless as always, refusing to give away how hard I fought the raging storm of emotional chaos building up within my freshly bandaged chest.  
I´d recognize the nauseatingly familiar odor of easy sex seeping from your every pore – sour, slightly musky sweat, iron touch of blood, and creamily bitter semen, even the talc of dirty sheets - , blending irritatingly smooth into an air of stale marijuana, sweet heroine, bitingly sharp vodka and someone else´s cheap cologne.  
I´d see how the scarce rest left of your clothing utterly failed to hide how countless bruises, punctures, carpet burns, scratches, even cuts, all partly fresh, partly scaring already, tarnished your once flawless porcelain skin, now stickily damp, oddly paled and flushed at the same time as a side effect of whatever drug you were on again.  
If only you´d known just how I ached, how I fought, not to bang you into the next wall, hurt you, shake you out of that haze, beat some sense back into you, scream my heart into your face, what would you have done? Would you have smiled mysteriously and come up to hug me tightly as you used to do so frequently in our early days, would you silently shoot me a pitiful look, like Nagi may have done, would you have lunged at me, aiming for a hearty punch in the face, as I myself would´ve liked to do, would you have just walked past me, ignoring me, like Crawford might do?  
But how would you know only through me standing there like a statue every time, wordlessly, motionlessly allowing you to step out of your shoes, and pass me by with a tiny awkward smile on your lips, half apologetic, half tempting, your eyes as shallow and empty as a black hole.  
Not even would I flinch upon the barely there, nearly gentle touch you grazed my shoulder with, leaving me stunned and dumbfounded by this vividly horrid picture I just witnessed, as well as by a strangely erotic, tingling sensation that went right into my lower body to linger on through the at least the rest of the night.  
Understanding the meaning of that shiver had taken me a long long time and several mental headaches to figure out. What I´d known was, that it was no emotional reaction, and neither an expression of my love nor my hate. Only when I finally gave in, this fateful night, to the impulse long screaming within me, to reach out and catch you, experiencing the jolt, comparable to only my beloved high-voltage showers, that ran through my whole body and right into my crotch, stirring my manhood, did I understand how my love for you had never been pure at all.  
No matter how much I hated you for showing yourself to me so shamelessly in this vulnerable, roughed up condition, somehow it fascinated and sheer tormented me so much I´d been on the very edge of exploding inside. Oh heavens had I wanted you, needing you to write underneath me, feel you hot and tight around me, to hear you moan to my rhythm, to see you reflect the same pleasure I felt, have you mark my body as yours.  
Actually I´d planed on telling you how I felt, talk things through with you, find a way out for you together this very night, but my resistance crumbled and shattered under this striking realization. There was nothing to hold me back anymore now, just as if I was in a blood rush. Like a hungry tiger, I lushed for you, pulling you tightly to my heated body, kissing you as fierce and deeply as if I´d suffocate not doing so. Your eyes wet wide as if you´d seen a ghost, you writhed deliciously underneath me in endearing panic, tried kicking and punching my body to distract me or scare me away, resorting to bite my lip, hard, probably painful if it wasn´t me, as everything else failed, though only succeeding in arousing me even further. Whatever was left of your clothing, I ripped it away, freed my erection and pushed you roughly against the nearest wall as I forced myself into you, too impatient to care about any kind of preparation to put you at ease. Your scream of pure pain and terror, the desperate tears and the runny red lines you painted on my milky shoulder got me off even more then your exquisite hot tightness around me I´d wished to feel for so long, reminding me just how much a sadist I was indeed.  
Once I finished, you´d rise trembling to your feet from where I dropped you to the floor, your look accusing, expression mirroring pain on every level you could possible feel.  
With trembling lips you only whispered, confused and vulnerable, full of shame and fear, “Don´t tell Brad”, before you hurriedly vanished into the darkened depths of the house, hugging your naked, worn out body tightly.

From then on, I waited in the dark hallway for you to return and rape you again and again.  
You never said anything, never made any serious effort to stop me, with time acting like a rag doll, completely surrendering yourself to the heat and strength of my arms.  
The next morning, I wouldn´t be able to look at you and flinch uncomfortably any time we accidentally happened to touch, eaten away by guilt, but you showed not the slightest hint of what was happening between us, thus not attracting attention from neither Crawford nor Nagi.  
This left me puzzled, irritated and astonished at the same time. Even though I wouldn´t stop doing these horrible things, you protected me from any suspicion, even though it would take only one single word to Crawford to get my head gift wrapped on a silver plate. Aside from that, as much as I hated to admit faults, like about any living thing with the least spark of pride, I had to admit to myself, that with your speed and abilities you´d be able to even me with the ground you´re walking on easily at any time you wished.  
Just why didn´t you do it? Was it because of the drugs? Were you too ashamed? Or was there maybe even a small chance you´d taken a liking to it? Did you maybe want this, want me?  
Sometimes I really wished I´d be a telepathic, just like you, so I could see what´s going on in that pretty, kinky head of yours, but I couldn´t. So these question continued hunting me, day and night, as if it wasn´t bad enough already, having my conscience pinpricking me constantly.  
Just how I could do such a thing to you, if I really loved you so much, taking advantage of your addiction, instead of trying my best to ween you? If I hated you, then how could I long for you so much, unable to stop touching you, won´t ever get your picture and voice out of my head?  
Slowly but surely I was drowning in my desperation. Was this my punishment for what I´ve done?  
In search for anything that might indicate the slightest answer, I began trying to read you.  
Meticulously I surveyed every single gesture, listened closely to any word and sound, picked apart every single glance and found a thousand ways to interpret each of your expressions.  
Surprisingly quick you became an open book to me. I knew all of your habits, predicted every single action and reaction, sometimes I could even tell what was on your mind before you could even think of voicing it. Still all I got this way was the reason for your drug abuse being your lifelong wish for something to cut yourself off the constant flood of stranger´s thoughts around you, just something to numb your brain out and give you some peace. Seeing that I understood you so much better, for I´d probably be the same way if I was in your shoes. Somehow it even reminded me of my desire to yet again feel the pain I´d lost sense of, long, long ago. Thus I could hardly blame you any longer for trying to attain that heartwarmingly pure wish.  
Though even now, with all that, I still couldn´t answer the actual questions torturing me.  
I needed to know. It drove me even more crazy, in a different, very negative way then I already am.  
In the end there was no other choice left to me but to ask you, so yet again I prepared for soul-stripping to you this very same night.

As usual, you´d leave quietly just as the sun had settled and fallen asleep in her soft, warm bed of vividly orange clouds, reminding me painfully of your silky hair.  
Once the clock struck midnight, I took up up my usual spot, crouching in the corridor, waiting for you, quietly, patiently like I always did.  
When you returned, a lot earlier then usual, everything was so different all of a sudden, letting the whole encounter appear oddly and unsettlingly surreal.  
You were clean, your impressive, orange mane gracefully flowing over your shoulder in tame waves, shimmering softly as if it were silk. Even your scent was different form usual – still pure vodka, though nothing close to the usual amount, but about the double amount of cigarettes instead -. The abstinence of blood and dirty sheets, as well as the less sour, softer degree of your sweat indicated cleaner, more civilized sex. The most baffling though, was the utter and complete absence, not even the slightest hue of any drug.  
From all I´d learned about you, that could only mean you hadn´t tired to flee from yourself this evening, but prepared to confront some important matter, right in the face as usual.  
Standing tall with a serious, determined expression kind of mismatching with the gentler, yet more passionate form of the gleam your eyes used to reflect. When I stood up, you neither froze nor flinched and held my suspiciously questioning gaze firmly without wavering a bit.  
Obviously taking advantage of my surprised hesitation, wondering about the reason for all this, you walked up to me, expression changing into something I hadn´t yet encountered on you, therefore failing to interpret properly.  
Granting me neither time nor space to react, you backed me against the nearest wall, pinning me firmly, but gently with your lovely, lightweight body, as you captured my lips in a kiss so deep and intense it seemed almost desperate. Like some ghostly presence, your hands roamed my body, the heavy jolts of pleasure resulting practically burning throughout my nervous system, demonstrating impressively just how much my lack of pain reception increased my general sensitivity instead. Almost instantly I grew hard, as you suggestively slid a leg between mine.  
When you pressed yourself closer, tightly wrapping me in your arms, I could feel clearly, just how you were no less ready and anticipating to go then me. Not for one single moment did your lips leave mine, and still wouldn´t, even when you quickly spun us around, leaning heavily against the wall, as you tugged me closer yet, not leaving any space between us. Lazily your arms rested on my back, as you waited for a reaction, you sure won´t have to beg twice for.  
Still slightly hesitant in wonder, I let my hands travel up your sides, crossing your chest before they set on unbuttoning this terribly annoying shirt shielding them from their desired destination. Growing greedy I almost immediately started to loosen your pants once I´d slid the shirt down your slender though still well-trained arms. Too caught up in admiring your perfectly lanky built and the marks life had left on your soft skin, I didn´t notice how you did the same to me, until I felt your fingertips running over my bared skin, chasing incredible shivers through my entire form. As soon as freed from your pants, you wrapped one leg around me and I gladly complied to your silent request by picking you up and pinning you firmly under me.  
When our lips parted, your eyes bore into me, their vigorous, openly sexual gleam sent heat waves through my already nearly boiling blood. A tiny noise of eager anticipation passed my lips, you biting yours with a shaky sigh of content as you pressed your entrance against my erection. Both of us cried out loudly in sheer pleasure, as my manhood slid deep into your tight, hot cavern all at once, staying true to our tradition of skipping preparation, causing the world around us to melt rapidly into a sea of searing, seriously mind blowing pleasure.  
Yes, you truly knew your ways indeed, no wonder you were so insanely popular with anything alive on two legs. The audible proof of our pleasure could´ve woken up the whole neighborhood, we wouldn´t have noticed at all, even less cared. All that mattered were our burning bodies devouring each other relentlessly in desperation for release.  
We were close, so damn close already, when you lost you patience, opening your ports, simply ripping mine as well, so we were both wide open to feel with our own, as well as the other´s body.  
Words to describe that incredible, overpowering experience of feeling you around me, as well as me inside you at the same time had yet to be invented and still wouldn´t do justice at all.  
I could hold it barely for a second before I, in the truest sense of word, exploded within you as never before, pulling you over the edge with me the very same instant, the echoes of our orgasms nearly painfully resounding within our heads.  
Only very reluctantly we returned to reality, our tightly entwined bodies sagging tiredly against the wall, refusing to let each other go all that quickly. Slowly we opened our eyes, locking gazes right away, communicating wordlessly, only with the emotions mirroring in our eyes.  
Satisfied with what we found, both of us felt as light as if barely touching the floor at all, when we finally let go of each other, dressing quietly.  
“See you tomorrow”, he whispered huskily, leaving me with a devilishly sinful smile, that made my heart flutter in previously unknown contentment and clearly indicated how he wasn´t referring to the harmless breakfast Schwarz usually shared...


End file.
